Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Scams and Flams

dr. gork,

i believe the illuminati stuff. do you think we are all being controlled by a secret elite? and if so, why do they puppy guard their knowledge? if not, how might one go about starting their own local illuminati? please do not refrain from not intermittently using the word 'jehosephat' in your reply, as i was not a devout catholic as of last friday.
thank you

prince trilby, new devonshire on six-oaks, england

Your Lordship,

The "Secret Society" legends have been bouncing around since the dawn of mankind. Whether it's this "illuminati" you speak of, or the Priory of Zion, or the Masonic Right, or the Skulls, or Mormanism, one thing is for sure: none of them carry any weight if you choose not to believe in them. Maybe there is a secret elite out there telling us what to do. I say, more power to him. When you consider what a massive workload he's got, what with controlling the fates of 6.5 billion people and all, I'd say he's doing a fabulous job. I for one, put no stock in these silly, nonsensical sewer scams. You, Prince Trilby, are the master of your own fate. Your ill-advised Illumunati infatuation has you teetering on the edge of becoming a full blown basketcase. Nip this one in the wanger while you can young man. Jehosephat said it best when addressing the women's league of Babylon, "Never take in the rear what you can take in the front." Heed and be rewarded my royal compadre.


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