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Sunday, December 14, 2008

False Advertising

Hello dr. gork,

I have read your q and a blog and find it fantastic and enthralling. I am telling all my buddies about it all the time. I had a really good question for you: where can i get some nepepniciden for my clamkalgg disorder? They say it looks like rain for those with clamkalgg. My local specialist is a scam clam, so i'm not getting much help there. Anything?

-steven michaggaaaananggganngnangnn

Steve,

Ease up on the keyboard mashing. Nepepniciden is really not that hard to come by these days, but I'm not quite sure you want it. In the early 60's, a sleezy pharmaceutical company called Plooper & Murglestein marketed Nepepniciden under the name "Neptide" (street name "Nep") as a cure for the common cold. You and I now know Nep as Crystal Meth. Ploop and Murg went down on fraud and public endangerment charges not long after they introduced the wonder drug, but their legacy remains (see the braindead, toothless hookers on your local street corner if you don't believe me). I suggest you steer clear of the angel dust for now and focus on finding someone that can effectively treat your scrotum rash. You better find yourself a good over-the-counter scrote balm and start making some phone calls. God help you.

-Gork

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