Monday, November 24, 2008


Dr. Gork,

Donovan McNabb's recent admission that he did not know his own sport's overtime rules got me thinking: what would be the equivalent of this snafu for a pro basketball player?

Jim Rome
Tarzana, CA


Incoming mail has been a bit light of late, which I attribute to the economic crisis coupled with hurricane Katrina. As a result, I'm forced to publish your silly question. We need look no further than Mr. Basketball himself: Yownis Spooch, a 6'11 Forward for the Madison Cheese Pucks in the now defunct TCC, A.K.A "The Cheese Circuit" (the TCC was founded and folded in October, 1999). During a post game interview, Yownis was asked about his unorthodox shot selection. This was based on Yownis shooting 5 for 27 overall and 0 for 11 from the half court line in a massive 116-24 loss to the Green Bay Bries. Yownis explained that he had made 3 baskets in a row early in the game without giving up any points to the opponents, and as such, was considered to be "on fire". He went on to explain that when a player is on fire, they can shoot from nearly anywhere and be sure to sink the shot. By the time it was explained to Yownis that this was not the case, it was already too late. Yownis broke his neck in the next game while attempting an impossible 360 dunk shot from the the 3-pt line.


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